SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, wear, feel, style, dress, closet, shoe, good, talk, outfit, buy, stylist, coat, wardrobe, work, accessories, privilege, love, absolutely, clothes

SPEAKERS

Amber Cabral, Germanee G

 

Germanee G  00:00

I’m able to help women feel confident and have the agency to do that through clothes, yes and so and because it comes so effortlessly to me, I want to share it.

 

Amber Cabral  00:14

Privilege is all around you. It’s useless until you recognize it. So it’s time to stop feeling guilty and figure out how to use your privilege to make an impact. Welcome to guilty privilege. Welcome back to guilty privilege. My name is Amber Cabral, and today I have the opportunity of talking to my stylist, Germany G she actually styled me for this podcast. So every outfit that you have seen she has had her little fingers on and you are going to be lucky enough to hear from her today. She is a stylist for high achieving entrepreneurs, executives and entertainers, and she dropped some really great tips, as well as gives you a little bit of recommendation about how to feel confident in your clothing, how to make the right choices to have the pieces in your closet that are gonna work for you, and how not to overdo it. So looking forward to the conversation. Hey, Germany, hi Amber. Thanks for joining me here. Thank

 

Germanee G  01:10

you for having me. I’m

 

Amber Cabral  01:11

so excited about this conversation because, you know, I am fortunate enough to have worked with you specifically on my wardrobe twice in two different ways. Yes, and people think I know what I’m doing, and I don’t, actually, I just imitate very well. And listen, okay, okay, I got it from who has it, okay, so I knew who to go to. I appreciate that, yes. And so I’m excited to talk about it, because I think that style is something that everybody wants, but not everyone understands, yeah, and we get some really interesting definitions of style, absolutely. But as a stylist, I would like for you to tell me what style means to you. What

 

Germanee G  01:49

style means to me. I think two quotes in particular come to mind, okay, one of which is from Tracy Ellis Ross. When they asked her about style, she said, Follow your heart. Yeah, to couple that. Bethann Hardison said, People don’t change. They just become more of who they are. That’s absolutely right. And I think understanding style is understanding who exactly you are and how you want to show up and showing up unapologetically as that person and unlearning what society has told you,

 

Amber Cabral  02:26

this is hard, yeah, because, like, people don’t know themselves. They don’t so how? So? So it’s Ooh, exactly. So someone doesn’t know themselves. Can they have style?

 

Germanee G  02:39

You know, they, they can try to have style ish, but I they can, they can be style. But I don’t know if it’s you, you become unapologetic with it. I think there was a time in which I went to the grocery store and I threw on some shorts, some thigh high boots and a T shirt, and the guy in the grocery store said, that’s an interesting outfit. I said, Thank you, right? And I didn’t care. He didn’t sway, right? My opinion of my outfit, right? I’m going to be as creative as I want to be, because I want to express myself how I want to express it. And I feel like I didn’t always have that. I don’t think I always was as stylish as I am today. I think it’s about unlearning conformity, because when I think about how I how I dressed myself when I worked at Gap, I looked like the people who work force, now that my bias is real Exactly, yeah, now that I’m entrepreneur, I look at those photos and I’m trying to understand who that girl was, and that was me, and that she didn’t know. She didn’t know because I was dealing with the pressures of being from the south. My first day at Gap, I wore a suit. I got to the gap office, and everybody was in, nobody. I am embarrassed, literally.

 

Amber Cabral  04:00

It’s so funny because it was, was hilarious about that is, it is one of the coaching points that I used to make sure that, you know, because gap is a client of mine, yeah, that I used to tell Gappers, like, you cannot critically judge people for showing up in a suit if, because we’re in an age right now where people don’t know that it’s okay to not correct, right? And so until they get in office and discover that absolutely, you know, you think, oh, this person doesn’t know us. They’re showing up to the interview in a suit. And it’s like, but you’re interviewing suits. So yeah, I can imagine how that felt, because that’s an actual talking point I have said in that company, listen. And

 

Germanee G  04:34

so coming from the south, yeah, I had to unlearn my Southern tradition. Then I had to understand, Okay, well, how do I fit in this bay area? Yes, that’s a whole different corporate Exactly. Yeah, so relaxed, yes. But then I think by the time that I left, I was really showing up as me. They always knew that I was gonna show up and come here, exactly, it’s coming. Yeah. It. So I think it’s about but learning and becoming yourself, and unlearning and not being influenced by anybody else, really just showing up authentically. So I want

 

Amber Cabral  05:11

to talk a little bit about that, because I’m processing that for the moment. Yeah, it’s all psychology, yeah, it, but that’s, you know, listen, if people don’t, you know, get the help they need all the time, right? You know, so it’s, there’s labor involved, yeah, and so I want to talk a bit about it, because I, I, I think most people probably think about style, the way that I used to, which is, I would like to look pulled together. What is the right version of that for me? I don’t know what it is, so I, in my mind, was seeking out assistance with style or being styled. Because my hope was that you could tell me, yeah, but you can’t.

 

Germanee G  05:52

I cannot tell you what I can guide. I can guide you. And also not to brag on myself, but what I think I do a lot better when I am talking to my clients is I’m listening to everything you’re saying. I also research my clients. Before I meet them, I research them. I’m seeing how they’re showing up, and then I’m also hearing how they say they want to show up, and so then I take all of that information, right? I soak it all in, and then I figure out the garments that amalgamate all of that, yeah, and help you feel confident, right? And you say, Wow, I never envisioned this for myself. I have said, but I feel like myself, yeah, and it’s because I heard you, right? And it’s an art and it’s a science. I could get up here and tell you, Amber, my outfit is so cute, you should wear exactly that. But the science behind it is, is that’s not your genetic that’s not your chemistry. That doesn’t make you feel great, right? What makes you feel great? That’s the science behind it, right? Not the art.

 

Amber Cabral  07:01

Okay, this is Rich. I think it’s really good to think about fashion from the standpoint of it being a personal thing. I think the labor in that that I think a lot of people will find difficult, and I even just thinking about it, I’m like, ooh, that’s kind of hard. Is like the knowing yourself part, because we don’t, we don’t, unfortunately, like a lot of us, don’t, and so it’s, it’s therefore difficult to connect to this idea that, you know, I can have a style that fits me, you know, because I don’t really know me. I just want to be a I want to be a certain way. I want to show up a certain way. And I think we see that sometimes when, like, I’ve definitely had this experience where I’ve seen somebody and the clothes are wearing them absolutely like, the outfit is cute, yeah? But it don’t feel it’s not for you, yeah? Or you’re not wearing your wheel. Something’s off with it. And so I can see the other side of that, where it’s like, this is nice. It appears visually, you know, to be, you know, nice to look at, but it doesn’t work. And I think that so what I’m hearing is style is when it works and it works for that person, correct? Okay?

 

Germanee G  08:01

And you have to, you have to keep throwing paint at the wall.

 

Amber Cabral  08:03

I my walls are painted. Yeah, I’ve had that moment so, like, I, well, we’ll talk about my closet and all of that in a minute. You know, because you’ve done some fantastic things for me, and I want to explore that deliberately. But before I say that, you talked a little bit about working at Gap, yeah, I would love to just hear from you what you what you feel like you What did you Glen? What did you gain? What did you glean from that experience that you know prepared you for entrepreneurship?

 

Germanee G  08:30

Absolutely, I feel like I learned so much at Gap. For sure, there’s so many things I one, I think it helped you for my clientele, one because I knew at Gap, they put you in front of everything, everybody, including the CEO of the they do not care. They do not everyone will be in front and you will have you can be an assistant merchant, a merchant, that’s right. They do not care. You’re going to tell that’s right, the CEO how your business is doing exactly, and convince them that it’s working. That is exactly. You have to tell them why. Gav is very democratic that way. They are very much about making sure that if you don’t, if you are not visible in that company, there is likely something going on causing that. Because they are kind of they’re kind of skilled about putting a mic in people’s hands and making sure that you you talk. Wait The first day you get there. They teach you you need to have an elevator pitch. Yes, elevated. I don’t want to get exactly right. But once I found my niche and knew that it was going to be executives and entrepreneurs, and at that time, it was in tech. I had to learn how to pitch myself, and I had to learn how to speak the corporate speak. And I knew that because of my my time at Gap, yeah, I think me being a merchandiser helps me with the versatility aspect. Fact of me teaching people that you can’t think about your your clothes and just this is one garment I like. This one garment. No. How do I wear this garment in multiple ways? How does it flow within my wardrobe? So as a merchant, we always have to look at the designs and say, Well, how does this design coordinate with this, because we want sales, the conversion Correct. I

 

Amber Cabral  10:24

want you to buy four things, correct. I

 

Germanee G  10:25

need you to buy four things, and the four things therefore need to go together. And they gotta go together, that’s right. So the versatility is where it comes in check. As far as me being a merchandiser, me translating that to styling. So between me having to understand corporate speak and then my merchandising background, I think it really helped me become the stylist I am today. Okay, I don’t think they work out. But, you know,

 

Amber Cabral  10:50

I mean, everybody is not supposed to be in a corporation. No, everybody is not necessarily supposed to work with corporations, absolutely.

 

Germanee G  10:57

And the thing is that I knocked on the door as far as I wanted to be a stylist, yeah, I told them multiple times, yeah, yeah. So,

 

Amber Cabral  11:04

I mean, I feel like at the end of the day, like you got what you needed, and they probably got what they needed to Absolutely. I love that time. Yeah, exactly. It feels like it was even exchanged No.

 

Germanee G  11:13

Thank you. Thank y’all Okay,

 

Amber Cabral  11:15

all right. So I want to ask you a question. I know we talked about style being about you, figuring out you and now as I’m processing that still, it makes more sense. Why? Here I am in my 40s, my 40s, finally feeling like I have a sense of style where I’m like, Oh, I do feel like I have a style. I’d have a way I like to feel my clothes, etc. What recommendations would you have for someone who doesn’t consider themselves particularly stylish like if you were to just maybe give people a 123, of things that they could do, what would what would that look like or sound like?

 

Germanee G  11:54

Yeah, to find I usually tell people who don’t know where to start. Go on Pinterest, go on Instagram, take screenshots, then put all those photos together. And did you find a common thing? Oh,

 

Amber Cabral  12:09

look for the theme. Look for the theme

 

Germanee G  12:11

that is the North Star. Like do I? Do I gravitate towards leather? Do I gravitate towards these specific shapes, zebra? Do my Exactly. And so then you’re understanding, okay, this is what I’m drawn to. Let me stay in that vein with you. You love the earth tones. I

 

Amber Cabral  12:29

love earth tones. It’s easy. You can mix and match it. Love it. Love it, right? And because I am, you know, like in a position where you’re, you’re going to see a lot of my clothes because I have short hair. I don’t, you know what I’m saying. Like, I don’t have a lot of other things to take away, right? You see my face and you see my clothes? Yeah, I really value everything working together exactly like it means a lot. Like, I feel like, when I start to get a little too adventurous, it feels distracting, because my clothes are the focus on me. Yeah? So, yeah, that’s a great point. So

 

Germanee G  12:59

I think one is, find a theme, and then two, look in your closet and ask yourself, What makes you feel confident? This

 

Amber Cabral  13:06

is giving Marie Kondo, right? What do I love about this? What makes me feel confident? Not? What do you like? Does it spark joy?

 

Germanee G  13:14

Does it spark joy? Yeah, so what are the things that make you feel confident? I have a ton of Blazers because I feel like I can dress up, dressed down, and I still am going to feel as though I’m the baddest girl walking into the room. Oh, the blazer and some jeans. That’s me, right? And so what in your closet makes you feel the most confident? I stopped because a lot of women say dresses. And I have, I have thoughts about dress,

 

Amber Cabral  13:41

okay, well, let’s, well, let’s, we can have a, let’s make it a, 2b, okay, okay,

 

Germanee G  13:46

okay, so I want so then the third thing would be to just try things that you haven’t tried before because you don’t know if you like it, and to try it, and so until you try it on, and until you try to figure out the pieces of the puzzle, you won’t know, but don’t fall into the comfort gap of the leggings. No pun intended, of the leggings and a T shirt and I feel comfortable. I always say that it’s not about comfort. It’s about what makes you feel comfortable. There is a difference. There is very much so a

 

Amber Cabral  14:23

difference. There are things that I think are comfortable, yeah, that are also providing me comfort, yes, but there are definitely things that provide me comfort that I’m not leaving my house in absolutely so, yes, okay, yeah, all right, that’s good. So in a practical standpoint, one of the things that I see I’m hopping around, you know, lots of questions and so, well, let’s talk about the dresses. Touch on the dresses piece. Okay,

 

Germanee G  14:48

so dresses are a scapegoat, right?

 

Amber Cabral  14:51

What does that mean? Why are dresses a scapegoat? Oh,

 

Germanee G  14:55

I know women throw on dresses because it’s easy. They don’t want to do the work. Mm. Hmm, and then you try to understand your style. Well, you

 

Amber Cabral  15:04

don’t have any clothes to pair, anything. You don’t have to parent you don’t have to parent you, because all you wear is dresses. Yes, so dresses is the equivalent of, like, you know, that person that works in corporate that always has on black pants, absolutely every day, absolutely black pants every single day. Different shirt, yeah, different shoes, yes, black pants, like pants, yeah. Okay, that’s a good point. I actually was never a dress wearer. I say that like I’m in my dress body now, but before a body, I mean, you little happenings, happening. I

 

Germanee G  15:33

love that, right? So, but, yeah, I

 

Amber Cabral  15:36

was, I was really reserved about dresses and skirts for a long time, especially because I’m short, it made me feel, I don’t, know, shrunken, I think. But now pushing, yeah? Now I’m like, oh, okay, I know where to put the things. I know how they need to sit. I am in a dress. Yes, that by Germany. So I can imagine, you know, now thinking about what a dress does, yeah? Because it is simple, it’s like, throw a jacket on, yeah, that’s it. There’s no additional I mean, your shoe exactly is not a lot. So pairing, you don’t get to figure out like, what I like, what I don’t like, what colors I even like, no, because the dress is the dress I

 

Germanee G  16:09

walked into a ton of closets and they say, I don’t know what to wear. Can you help me? I can’t help you, because you don’t have outfits. Wow, that must hurt some feelings. You know, sometimes I gotta hurt some feelings. That’s okay. I

 

Amber Cabral  16:20

mean, that’s how you get to the answer. We

 

Germanee G  16:22

wrote that. Figure it out. Okay, so

 

Amber Cabral  16:23

let’s talk a little bit about what you’ve done for me. So the first time you, you came by, you, you know, kind of just, we went through my closet and was like, doing a it was like an assessment, like, what are you missing? What do you need? Yeah, what are the basics that you have? You know, what do you wear? What’s really your style, what’s not. And at that point, I was, like, probably at the tip of, like, I feel a little bit good about my style, and it was very helpful. And you made this fantastic board of things, and I bought a lot of them. And then I, you know, had a few years passed, and life did things, and you moved away. And, yeah, you were living in LA at that time, and then you moved to Georgia, and then I was casually talking to you as a friend, and was like, hey, so why don’t you come help me get ready for a podcast? Right? And this was different, because my closet is pretty done, yeah, like, I have a lot of things, but, you know, I’ve gone through some transitions. So my body has evolved. I had stopped wearing a lot of things because, you know, I picked up some weight because I was navigating some health issues, had some surgery, blah, blah, blah, so I was unsure even what fit. Yeah, and I don’t often put clothes on anymore, because I’m at home most of the time. So I may wear a top. But other than that, I’m, you know, I’m in my chill out bottom. I’m in my comfort so you came by, and this, I still am just blown away by it. But you came in, you were in my closet for all of maybe 10, maybe 12 minutes, and pulled 22 outfits,

 

Germanee G  17:57

you know,

 

Amber Cabral  17:58

just, can you give me some insight into how, how it takes me 22 minutes to figure out what to put on? Okay, I’m looking at the same clothes, okay, that I have worn this entire season. You have had me put things on my body in ways that I would never have considered. But I was like, I would do this. I would wear a hoodie with a skirt when I done that. Think most of us, I think most people who put clothes on their body, because we do realize that there are some celebrities who choose not to do that at all. But most people put clothes on their body really want to be able to work in their closet. Yeah, in that way, they want to be able to go purchase these clothes, yes, and put things on and put them together and like, show up in a way that feels this is right. This fits me. It’s in my closet. It should please give me some tips. Please help me so I can get dressed in 20 minutes. I gotta do 22 in 20 minutes. But if I could do one in 20 minutes, that would be great. I hope you’re enjoying today’s episode, and if you happen to also be looking for tools to help you navigate tough conversations, to be able to show up as a more impactful ally, or just to have resources about how to navigate equity in your world. I’ve written two books. My first book is called allies and advocates, and this book is really focused on helping you show up as a more impactful ally. It has actual tactics and tips and things that you can practice to help you get there, both for yourself and for others. My second book is called say more about that. Now say more about that is more about helping you to speak up, to push back, to challenge, to be able to have those conversations that sometimes get a little bit difficult. And in fact, I’ve given you actual scripts to help you to be able to do that. So if you’re interested in just having a few extra resources in your pocket to be able to help you to navigate any of those things. You can go pick up those books anywhere where you buy books, or you can pop down into the show notes and click the links and buy them there. Back to the episode. Yeah,

 

Germanee G  19:51

I think Amber, what you have done in your closet well, and this will be helpful for other people. I think one you’ve invested. Some very quality pieces. Two, you have organized your closet in a way that it makes sense, like it’s in color order, it’s in the order of silhouette, so the pants, it was very easy for me to you made your closet shoppable, and you have to. I’ve worked in retail, yes, and I think you don’t know what to find when you wake up in the morning if you have not made the environment to conducive, conducive to do so right now, because of that, it made it easy for me to go in and say, Okay, I like these tops. I like these pants. Okay, let me pull a couple dresses, and then let me see what works together. And so then I’m also looking at fabrications. What fabrications work well, oh, I know, silk and leather pair well, together, they’re luxurious fabrications, or they look luxurious, so I can make that work together. Or I also said this before, you should play with it. Have fun, right? And because I have to do a lot with my own wardrobe and learning like, what I like, what I dislike, yeah, I’m a tomboy. I have two brothers. Like, I’m a Tom right heart, so I’m gonna wear a hoodie, and then I’m gonna throw on, I might throw a dress on with it, right, right? Or a skirt, right? Which is why I push you to do the same, because we have very similar body types, and we have very similar style, yes, right? And so because of that, it was very much so, oh, I know this is gonna work for Amber, because I know that she’s gonna wear a hoodie. Maybe she just didn’t think about I did not. Yeah. And so I think we often think of traditional ways to wear our clothes where we shouldn’t. You gotta, you gotta break the tradition. That’s a good point. So

 

Amber Cabral  21:52

even with the the look that you put together, there was a hoodie and a skirt together. The thing that stuck out to me about it is I would have never tucked the hoodie. Yeah, I would have potentially put a hoodie and a skirt together, but I would have had it blouse over, yeah. But to your point about trying it, that’s probably a perfect example of it. Also I would not have tried it,

 

Germanee G  22:11

yeah, in the proportion you gotta, you gotta create a waist. People always create a rule of thumb. It. I don’t always agree with this, that you mirror the hourglass? Yeah, you have to always mirror the hourglass for proportion. And so I always know, hey, I have to show my way. So then it looks like I have, yeah, exactly blob. You don’t want that. I also think that what you do well with your class, or what you’ve done well, is that you have a good mix, and we talked about that in your roadmap, too. And so people don’t think methodically about their wardrobe or when they’re shopping. They buy on impulse, mostly, or buy on this. This looks so cute. Or out of necessity. I got a brunch that I gotta go to, or I got a wedding, a wedding, and then you don’t know what to do with the actor. And so I often tell clients that your wardrobe, your closet, should be made up of your staples, your key items and your statement pieces, and you got to have a good range of all that. If your closet has too many staple pieces, you’re never going to be able to I mean, you’re not going to brunch, you’re not going to brunch, you’re doing your T shirt. You exactly, and then you’re going to right, okay, if you have too many staples out of your basics, like, you can’t really do much with that, okay, if you have like, your key items, those are, like, your little bit of flavor, a little Yeah, too many statement pieces. People get stuck because everything’s loud. Everything is loud. So you need a good I know those people Exactly, yeah. So you need a good mix of all of those. Like this is a skims t shirt, some egg old jeans, and I threw on this statement Jack, right? I don’t wear this all the time. If I had 10,000 of these, right, I wouldn’t know what to do with my closet. I don’t have the basic desire with it exactly. And so people have to have a good mix. And I think you also have a good range in your closet to give you coordinating separates that work together and flow together and create a versatile wardrobe.

 

Amber Cabral  24:11

Okay, so if a person is preparing for a stylist to come into their closet, they need to probably organize, organize, definitely, they need to be thoughtful about what purchases they are making, absolutely so, like, quality, does it fit into my space? And then third, they need to have some versatility in terms of, like, what category does this fall in? Is it dressy? Is, you know, athletic? Is it okay? That’s super helpful. All right, I haven’t I have another question that, you know I wonder about too, like, just going back to the experience that I had with you, another thing that was really good is that you were able to quickly put things to like you paired immediately, like it was, like this satin jacket you’re gonna wear that. As a shirt under this, you know, pleated dress. And I’m like,

 

Germanee G  25:04

make it make sense. I never do these work, yeah, is this a thing? And I’m like, Okay, wow, this

 

Amber Cabral  25:09

does work. This actually is nice. Okay, so how, how can someone, how can someone put themselves in the position? I mean, I know this is probably also a try it thing, but like, some things, you just would never think to try, like, I would never take a suit jacket and wear it as a shirt. I would never have thought about that. So, like, how can people get at least a little bit of framework around how to pair, like, you know, to make those leaps? Because, again, I think a lot of the things, even in my own closet that I brought about, as I said, right? I was like, Oh, this goes together or whatever, but to your point, I can sometimes step away and not know how to pair again. Yeah. So how do I get away from, okay, this is the one way I would wear it. But if I’m supposed to be able to wear something three ways, yeah, what are the other two? Yeah? So, so they gave me a good one with the the leather and the absolutely this was, that was good. I would never have had that’s a great rule to work together. Can I have another?

 

Germanee G  26:01

Yeah, of course, of course, of course. I think that going on back to Pinterest, right back to Pinterest, seeing how people are wearing them. And I also tell people to find a body double, because somebody that’s shaped like somebody that’s shaped like you, that you like how they dress, that you like how they dress? Okay? So I think you can see them take the risk, and you say, hey, oh, this is my body type. I can try this. And then you become more comfortable because you’re seeing somebody else do it. You have an example, you have an example. And then you can create outfit formulas. Oh, I know that a crop jacket could work with a dress. I could buy three crop dresses in three I mean, three crop Blazers in three different dresses, and they look like completely different outfits every time you pair every time, but also when you’re buying those three crop blazers, maybe one is a wool blazer, maybe one is leather and maybe one is denim, right? So same shirt, like silhouette, silhouette, different fabrications can create completely different esthetics. I think what people often do is they find a dress that they love and they buy five of them. Wrong. They need to be different shapes, different fabrications, the

 

Amber Cabral  27:21

same silhouette, but not the same exact dress. Guilty of that I

 

Germanee G  27:25

have bought seven a lot of people are I also used to be guilty of that same thing. Good. I’m

 

Amber Cabral  27:30

glad to know that. Yeah,

 

Germanee G  27:31

I’ve made all the mistakes, right? It’s good to know because I wasn’t born with style.

 

Amber Cabral  27:37

I mean, you have found your way. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you definitely have I so I, I used to buy multiples of things, and then I got to a point where, first of all, things get expensive. And so I started being like, Okay, I can’t have more than two, yeah, I’m not gonna have more than two of the same shoe. I’m not gonna have more than two of the same jacket. I’m not and they have to be, like, different enough in color, like, because I do like the earth tone family, like, I can do a brown and a green. I can’t do, like, a tan and a brown, like, we need to have some separation, because otherwise I will get to the point where, like, that’s the same outfit. Yeah, it’s a literal same outfit. I

 

Germanee G  28:09

like it, but it’s the same outfit, and that’s what happens, is that you buy the same things that you like, the same silhouettes that you like, the same family, and then you are then bored, yeah, because you made yourself that way. Yeah. Okay.

 

Amber Cabral  28:23

So here’s a funny thing, and I hope none of my podcast guests are mad at me for this, but I we did this when we picked these outfits, we matched them to the person, and you asked me, What is this person gonna wear? Yeah, I’m gonna tell you I was right about almost everybody. Stop. Okay, so maybe not necessarily boring, but people did have either a sense of style, or I knew kind of the general esthetic, correct they play in, yeah. Okay, all right, so maybe I do have a little maybe there’s maybe something’s going on up here. See, I gotta ask you about accessories. Though I struggle with accessories. I like gold. I know gold things work, but I get once things start to get chunky and bulky, or, like, I’m, like, how many of these can I wear? Like, can I do I have a role of chunky braces? Do I just have one? Do I is this chain too big? Is it too low? Where’s it supposed to hit? I get overwhelmed, and so I end up, I ends up just not buying it. Yeah, earrings. I love hoops. So hoops work. Hoops go with everything. So I wear, I have tons of styles of hoops, but I tend to stick with hoops. Because I’m like, I know that that works, okay, but I, I mean, I could afford an earring or two, you know, I gotta. I got a pair of earrings from Jess that she let me wear, and I was like, wear these. Okay, so can you talk to me about accessories and how we make decisions? Because I’ve seen people look a clown in accessories. Oh

 

Germanee G  29:41

yeah, accessories is that, you know, the icing on the cake, literally, okay. And so because of that, I always tell people to start small, start with your your everydays, your dainties, your basics. So it’s gonna go with everything. It’s gonna. Show at everything, right? And I’m right now. I’m just talking jewelry. Then you start building on, okay, if I try out a chunky bracelet, do I like it, or does it feel clunky for me? Okay,

 

Amber Cabral  30:13

like, try

 

Germanee G  30:14

it on. Guess what return policies are for? That’s right. Take it, like it, turn on. I didn’t like it, return it. And then if you feel like it’s too clunky, maybe you get something that’s a little more dainty, a little more refined for you. For you, it’s crazy, because my mom has such my mom and my dad, they both have great style. Of course, they my mom, she is a Southern belle at heart, and she would never wear anything that I would wear really, absolutely clothes and jewelry. Clothes and jewelry. She’ll say, that’s so very cute. I would never wear it. And wow, right? I would shop her closet, but I would just try on, like, little dainty pieces and just stack and stack and stack. And then I started to say, Oh no, it’s too dainty. I want to, like, add some texture so you add the bulkiness. But what does that mean for you? And so my mom wears little stackable choice, yeah, stackable, yeah. And I want something a little more visually interesting, so I’m gonna add different textures. But that doesn’t mean you did it wrong. That means you did it for you. So what’s

 

Amber Cabral  31:21

interesting is, I always feel like my hands are too small. Maybe it’s if they’re too small and wrinkly, but I’m sure you have small hands. You have small hands and like, you have, like, I mean, you have as many rings on as I have, they’re just bigger, right? Yeah, exactly. So like, I always feel like I can’t wear large jewelry because my hands are so small, okay? But that’s, I mean, yeah, I’m

 

Germanee G  31:43

wrong about that, yeah. And then you start to get, you start to feel comfortable with what works for you and what you’re willing to pair together, like for somebody else, they might say, Oh, this is too much. It looks great. I think it looks great. But it’s also, I

 

Amber Cabral  32:00

know, like, would I do this? Like, yeah, and that’s the other thing. I’m like, How do you know which, how much stack, how many? Yeah, that’s what. So where’s normal, not going wrong with with accessories. How do I, how do I keep from getting too seriously? Like, how do I don’t think that’s my problem, but I’ve seen it. I’ve seen where it felt overdone.

 

Germanee G  32:19

I mean, I think you gotta go with what Coco Chanel once said is, you have two if you have on three things, take one off. Okay, right? And so then it’s like, okay, maybe I take off this one, this one accessory, so I don’t feel like I’ve gone over the edge. Or, you know, decide on what you want the statement to be. You know, do I want it to be a statement necklace? Then I’m not going to wear a statement earring with the statement Oh, because it’s crowded, correct? It’s crowded. Some people do it very well, right? But when you’re learning, try to stick to one, okay, yeah, with your hands is far enough from your face, right? That, yeah, you could double that. That you can double Okay, okay, so figure out what you want to focus on, and then go from there. And then, I also think that people don’t realize that you can make your shoes and your handbags accessories too. So if you feel as bad, scarf, yeah, buttons, exactly. So if you feel as though jewelry isn’t your thing, try a shoe or try a handbag. If you don’t feel like scarves are your thing, try jewelry, right?

 

Amber Cabral  33:24

You know, right?

 

Germanee G  33:25

I’m not a scarf person, right?

 

Amber Cabral  33:27

Just not. I’m a scarf person in the winter and functionality absolutely, yeah, but, but not even like, winter scar, like the big square. I just feel like they’re convenient. Yeah, I can wrap it around my head. I can it gives me some options, like, and it’s also like, if my outfit is kind of regular, but I put on a nice zebra print scarf, it gives me a little extra Yeah, definitely an accessory. Yeah? So, okay, that’s valid. Okay, I like that. That’s very helpful. Yeah, I have been personally, kind of operating just generally when I get dressed, and I’m starting to get away from this of, like, not necessarily, I wouldn’t have called it the rule of three. But maybe it is. I would put something on and almost say what stands out. And sometimes what stands out is because I think people don’t think about this as well. Sometimes what stands out is my lips, like I’m wearing a black, red lip. That’s that’s an accessory. And sometimes it’s okay, well, you have your lip, and then you have your bracelets, and then you have this, this shoe. I’m not going past that. I’m typically going to halt at three because then I start to get nervous that maybe I’m doing too much chunks. But now I’m starting to get to the point where I’m like, there are times where, like, you know, the hoodie that I had on our heads of sparkly, you know, this is which could to me sub, because I didn’t have a necklace, right? And then also, you know, pull up, I still have my bracelets. And I also had on a fun shoe then. And I was like, actually, this is more than three, and I don’t mind it. So I do think that exploration piece is really important. But I did start to your point. Point of like, start small. Start small. I was like, if it’s more than three, you graduate, yeah, yeah. I made sure, because I was just, yeah, I don’t know. And I also realized that in some cases, depending on what I have on, my hair is an accessory. Absolutely, because my hair is, it’s a thing people know me by it is, hey there. I hope you’re enjoying the episode. And in fact, if you are, you can bring me to your organization or event to help you bring conversations like this to life in your workspaces. This is something I do for a living. I do coaching, I do training, I do executive consulting, whatever it is that you might need as it relates to trying to figure out how to activate allyship or equity in your space. It’s probably something I can support. So if you’re interested in how we can work together. You can reach out to me@cabraraco.com or pop down into the show notes and click the link book a discovery call, and we will chat with you soon. Back to the show.

 

Germanee G  35:51

Absolutely 100% how I wear my hair when it’s straight is completely different as far as how I create my outfits, yeah? How I wear my faux locks? I’m a lot more bohemian in my dress. You are I? Yeah, you know it’s summertime. I ain’t wearing no clothes for real. It’s hot, so my locks are going to be my moment, yeah, but when I want to step out and be cute, it’s, it’s going to be my bone straight, or my or my waves, or I’m gonna put my waves in a ponytail, yeah? And I feel like it changes your whole style. It changes my mood, my style, because your hair is also an accessory, yeah, that it changes the esthetic of an outfit, right? That’s super helpful. I can’t wear this with my locks. It would.

 

Amber Cabral  36:38

It wouldn’t be about it. Yeah, it’s a lot point, yeah, you know you got a good coat thing I do. You know coats are hard. You think coats are easy because it goes on the outside, but it’s not because, I think we’ve been taught to buy coats for functionality. Absolutely you don’t buy coats because I’m aware that, yeah, we’re like, okay, it’s

 

Germanee G  36:57

warm. The third piece is so easy. People always forget about the third piece of gap terminology. Third piece, the black that, yes, the last layer, the jacket, the blazer, the the coat, the cardigan. People forget about that. That’s

 

Amber Cabral  37:12

true. Yeah, that’s true. I love a blazer. But coats, I get a little nervous. Although you’ve added some coats to my clients that I do appreciate that you’re welcome. Okay, so this next question, I think, I think of style as an equity matter. I think it’s something that prohibits some people into spaces because they have a lack of style. I think that sometimes people will turn their style down because they are in certain areas and rooms. And so part of the reason I wanted to have a conversation with you is because I wanted to be able to have some dialog around what could help people potentially shape the experience that they’re having with others. Like, yeah, whether we would like to admit it or not, when someone is, you know, stylish or dress as well, we tend to be drawn to them. We tend to want to engage them. We’re going to ask them where they got the code. 100% you know, want to have some conversation, versus someone who, you know we don’t necessarily see, you know, some intentionality, or that same, you know, level of stylishness you you’ll not engage the same way. What? What do you recommend for folks who you know maybe are feeling a little bit trapped and confined because they are not necessarily being seen because of their style, but they are not necessarily wanting to change it, you know, like, they, you know, like, I think of, I have a couple friends who are just, they’re just t shirt people, like, they’re t shirt and jeans. People, they may have some fun sneakers, but like, they’re not really thinking about style. It’s not a thing that they’re married to. To them, their style is, I’m in a T shirt and jeans, maybe a t shirt and some slacks, but that’s me, but I would like to potentially still get into this, this space in this room. What are your thoughts about that connection?

 

Germanee G  38:53

Oh, there. It’s definitely a connection. It’s research behind this connection. Okay? One the research states that 70% of a first impression is based off of appearance alone. So before you even open up your mouth, well, correct? They’ve already decided who you are. They don’t know your degree, they don’t know if you went to Harvard, they don’t know that you made, they don’t know how much money you made. They just speak English, how you how you showed up, yeah. So it matters. And also, in my old corporate world, I saw somebody get passed up for a promotion because of how she dressed. It’s all exactly, we

 

Amber Cabral  39:30

know that wasn’t formally stated, but it was probably a part of the rumor mill, absolutely,

 

Germanee G  39:34

absolutely, because she didn’t fit the part of the particular exactly an equity matter, that is definitely an equity matter. Yeah, be and so, because this is also why I do the work that I do, because I’m a black woman, a lot of my clients are women Rockies, and how they show up matters they need the confidence to walk in. Yes, get these. Skills, yep, like, talk to the people that they need to talk to and show up. Yep, and how you feel is sometimes directly attached to what you’re wearing exactly, because it gives you the confidence. Because when I say, girl, you look good, you’re like, okay, yes, I do. I’m ready, and I’m ready. Yes,

 

Amber Cabral  40:19

I’m ready for my promotion. Please correct. Give me my money. So I wonder, then, what’s the difference between, you know, I don’t think this is worth it, especially when someone is being exploratory, which I think just me dressing for the podcast and you helping me with that, has given me a lot of opportunity to say, Okay, I have room to play. Yeah. What’s the difference between me feeling confident in something or me just liking it? And the reason I ask you this is you and I have had some conversation. There was somebody else that used to style me before. You know, we’re no longer in touch. So I, you know, because I stepped away, I still had a lot of pieces in my closet that were added, and a lot of them are great, yeah, but there were some things that I was like, this is nice, yeah, but you don’t love it, but it’s not me. Yeah, I don’t feel good in it. I’m not sure how to wear it. I don’t know if I want to wear it, yeah, but it’s nice, yeah, right? And so it shouldn’t be your closet then, yeah? But it took me time, like, I had to, like, I don’t know, I was past 30 day return window that, you know, so, like, How can I tell, in a moment, is this confidence, or is it or is it just, oh, this is cute.

 

Germanee G  41:28

If it’s confidence, that’s a good question. I mean, I’m saying I feel like you can get confused. You could just feel like you can get confused. You can have on something that looks really nice, absolutely, which I think that you’re not really confident, correct? And I think the confidence is, how does this garment one make me feel? But then I think it goes back to, can I wear this three ways, right? And does that still give me the same feeling if I wear in different Okay, different occasions, exactly, dressed up, dressed down. Somewhere in between, do I still feel the same? Like if I wore this jacket with a fitted bodycon dress, I must still feel right? The same, right,

 

Amber Cabral  42:11

right? My confidence is, is in this particular item, it is not in this look correct? Exactly. I like that. That’s helpful. Yeah, okay. I don’t know if I don’t know if I have any other questions. I’m trying to think about, you know, I feel like you’ve added so many things for me to consider. Oh, I do. I have one more question, because I want to ask you touched on a little bit shoes? Yeah, I have a shoe problem. Okay? And, I mean, you’ve seen my shoe problem I have. It’s a good, healthy problem, you know, but it’s a problem, okay? How? How should we be thinking about shoes? So because I have so many shoes, I’m now at the point where I just don’t have space to add more. Okay, not gonna tell how many pairs of shoes I have, but, but how do I how do I make the decisions like, should I be when I am looking at shoes? Am I should I be at the point already where my wardrobe is defined? Am I building my shoe situation as I am also, like, figuring out my style and identity with my wardrobe? Like, where do shoes fall in the equation? Is there a safe way to buy shoes so that you don’t have to worry about if your style changes later? Like, what’s what are the shoes? Can I have too many sneakers. Am I supposed to be and wearing? You know more? What help, right? Okay, I’m

 

Germanee G  43:25

not getting rid of something, no, as you should not, because you have a great I love your shoe collection. I think as far as the starting blocks for shoes, I think you should always have a black pump, a nude pump, a black ankle strap, a new dental strap. It doesn’t matter the heel height, whatever is your preference, okay? And then I think you should have a comfortable white sneaker. Those are like your fundamentals, fundamentals. Now, whatever you do after that, just make sure it’s not versions of the same thing. Make sure, back to the wardrobe, that it’s we are not collecting dumps. We are not collecting dumps. And if they are, I hope they are worth a lot, exactly. But to that point, some people style themselves from the bottom up. You know, they style themselves based off of the shoe. And so there’s not really a rule to it, but just make sure there’s versatility that your shoe have. You know, I have shoes to have feathers on them. I have make sure you have a metallic shoe. People, people forget about metallics are also neutrals. Metallics are neutral metallic. You can wear metallics together, yeah? Much my world changed, correct? That I could wear gold and silver and rose gold? Yeah? I

 

Amber Cabral  44:38

was like, Oh, I did not know this, yeah, yeah. That’s super helpful. And then the color pops, yeah, yeah.

 

Germanee G  44:42

But you don’t have to have like, 1000 shoes. I actually don’t, yeah, have a vast shoe collection, shoes. I’ve actually started

 

Amber Cabral  44:52

to got more coats than anything.

 

Germanee G  44:55

I can’t fit things in my closets. Not gonna have a big closet, having a lot of coats. Do, um, and so, yeah, and I think your your shoe preference changes over time. I think pre pandemic, a lot of women had a lot of heels. Oh, absolutely we got we weren’t going anywhere. We weren’t going anywhere. I was out of practice. Our feet were no longer, yeah, we try to get go outside 2021, RP said, what

 

45:21

happened? But

 

Germanee G  45:24

why am I wearing that? Yeah? And so now a lot of heels are shorter, yeah, in height, yep, or thicker, yep, or just sneakers, yes. And so a lot of women are voting against going back exactly. So I think it also changes with age, and also just when you’re when you’re young, you’re going to the club and sit six inch heels absolutely

 

Amber Cabral  45:48

and my knees as an adult, right, my knees and my ankles can I’m not. I’m not doing that. I’m not doing I’m not standing in line. I love that. I

 

Germanee G  45:57

have two hours exactly ready to go home exactly,

 

Amber Cabral  46:00

and low key. Even if the shoe is comfortable, I don’t want to tear my shoes up on this cement, correct, so I’m not gonna wear this

 

Germanee G  46:07

absolutely. Yeah, and so yeah, I don’t think there’s like, a real rule, but I think that there are staples that you should have okay to ground yourself, so that you’re not looking crazy. Also, animal print could also be a neutral. People forget that too. I

 

Amber Cabral  46:20

had to learn that too. I actually have animal print. Animal print, animal print on my sneakers. Yeah, and these are neutral. They have metallic and animals see, and they’re still a neutral. So yes, the neutrals game. Listen, it’s probably why my closet is very neutral, exactly, because it plays so well together and it works in my skin tone. So I can I get a lot of versatility, even though I had no idea how much versatility you totally opened my eyes to that. So tell me, if someone is looking for a stylist, what should they do or and also, how can they get in touch with you? Okay,

 

Germanee G  46:50

I’ll start with if they’re looking for a stylist, yeah, what they should do? I think they should research that stylist.

 

Amber Cabral  46:56

Research a stylist. I think I feel like people say, I mean, think about it. People, some stylist pages are only people they style. That’s exactly. How do I research exactly? I

 

Germanee G  47:05

just see what you do for other work. Okay, so that’s what I’m looking for, and the people who they style, and the body types they’ve styled, body type. And also I need you to look at, how are they styling? These people do all these people look the same. Some people want to look like. How the stylist has built their client exactly. I think Jay Bolin does a really beautiful job, but I think it’s very Texas. I think it’s for a certain demographic, right? And so it’s also very feminine. And so I think he does a beautiful job at that right? Do you want to look like that esthetic? If the answer is yes, Jay Bolin is exactly for you to go with, right? If you want somebody who’s super, versus not saying that Jay bowling star versatile at all, right? But if you want somebody who is going to be versatile and tap into you, and you don’t want to look like nobody else, right, then you need to think about that stylist. There are also stylists in Hollywood who will not touch anything over size six, because they don’t want to. And so you also don’t want to go just for the name, because sometimes the name doesn’t work. Want to work with you, right, right? So also look at their range of styling and like, can they work with different body types? Are they? Are they well versed in that? And how are they selling their clients? Are you selling them like themselves and projecting their style on to somebody else, exactly. And so I think you have to figure out what you want to do and the experience you want to have. Yeah, now, how you connect with me?

 

Amber Cabral  48:30

How do we? How do we connect with you? Thank goodness your numbers in

 

Germanee G  48:35

my phone, right? Everybody don’t have my number. Everybody don’t have both numbers. You got both numbers. Um, you can find me online at Germany. G, so that’s my name, G, E, R, M, a, n, e, e, g.com, and so it has my work up there. It also has my background. It also can help you figure out if we are the right fit. And it shows all of the services that my team and I provide, because we are growing. It is not just me okay, but I approve everything. And so, yeah, that’s how you find us. And because we have multiple stylists on our team, it also gives you different perspectives, yeah, which I appreciate, because we all bring something different to the table. And so, and we’re all throwing ideas together. I love that about my team. We’re all, yeah, we’re all saying, like, that’s cute, or we can build on that, or let’s take that away. So I love that we can challenge each other stylistically. And I think that adds a really good value to the experience that

 

Amber Cabral  49:31

our clients like a team. Yeah, yeah. I can see that. All right. I have, I have two questions that before we wrap. The first one is, and I’m trying, I just have to work this in here, because I’m just so excited by it. Um, I sent you to New York in a coat of mine. Rock it to your heart’s content, actually, okay, but because it’s to my point. Um, I didn’t know how to wear it. Yeah, I didn’t know how to wear. It felt like it was too much coat, or I wasn’t sure when to wear the coat. Like, is, can I be in the airport? Just cold? People gonna look at me? I don’t know what the right way to wear this coat is. So to your point about confidence, I probably needed to put the coat on and figure it out. Yeah, I like the coat, but I wasn’t really sure what to do with the coat. Yeah. So I you came by and was like, uh, I’m going to New York. I said we’ll take the coat with you, because it is a warm coat, correct? And what was so great is that you posted yourself in it. And I was like, I could do that. I would wear that like that. I would put those sneakers on. I don’t even know if I could wear sneakers with this coat. I thought I would have had to wear boots. And so I just want to talk a little bit about, you know, how paying attention to your point, someone who has a similar body type in you, I’m bigger than you, but we’re similar. Body similar, yeah? And a similar style for to you can be so helpful, because I literally gave you an item of clothing out of my closet that on you was oversized on me, probably closer to a regular fit, but still similar, right? Yeah? And I’ve walked away with a lesson like, I’m like, Oh, I could wear this this way. I can wear it that way. I encourage you to rock it until the winter’s over, if you’d like, because you’re going to post more and I’ll have more screenshots. So I want to just kind of talk about the, you know, just my own value in observing that. Because while I don’t necessarily look at Pinterest or find people that I want to imitate style behind you know, pretty often here I am in a situation, I have ended up selecting a person who is similar to me in style, understands my esthetic, and I’ve had the added bonus of becoming her friend, so she would wear my coat, and now I know what to do with it, right? So it just to kind of underscore what you’re teaching is definitely working, like it’s actively showing up in my space. I, in this moment, a couple of the outfits that we had pulled together because we pulled everything out my closet, which was fantastic. But I had a hoodie that we were like, ah, if this hoodie was cut a little differently, cut matters. Cut matters. And this hoodie, it was like, oh, it’s the right color, but we need a different cut. So I, you know, try to get it didn’t come in time, so I had to adjust an outfit, and I felt confident. You had the agency adjusting, because

 

Germanee G  52:07

you were able to learn just a few Yes, and that’s what I want to give Yes, the agency to Yes, feel comfortable and confident. Yeah, it has the tools to do this, do so, and it’s

 

Amber Cabral  52:19

my closet, correct? But I would literally go in my closet and do what I think most people do. Would just put the same things on over and over, yeah, and this time, I was like, okay, I can pull something together, because I know this, and this will probably go together. Yes, colors, and it’s because of the experience I had with you. Thank you. So for what it’s worth, if you haven’t gotten a stylist and you are interested in doing it, please, you will benefit immensely. Okay? And also don’t have someone style you the way they sell themselves, because, unless you really love their style, yeah, yeah, that can be a thing. Okay, last question I ask every guest this question and the show is called guilty privilege. And the reason that it’s called that is because I think people tend to feel guilty about the privilege that they have. Yeah, we see how that shows up in lots of different ways, when in reality, Privilege is actually really powerful. It helps open doors, it helps build connections, it helps us to create allies. And so I’m trying to just shift the narrative that privilege is something that we have to be ashamed of or diminish in some way, but instead create an environment where people are willing to use their privilege to connect. So with that, I would like to ask you, what is one privilege that you have? Yeah, you refuse to feel guilty about,

 

Germanee G  53:26

oh, I think you just, you just said it, and you telling me about your experience with me, my guilty privilege or my privilege? Yeah? Is that I’m able to help women feel confident and have the agency to do that through clothes, yes, and so, and because it comes so effortlessly to me, I want to share it, yeah, and so, I think that’s, that’s my privilege, and I’m not, I’m not guilty about it. I should feel bad about you. Should not, because I think we should throw it around, like glitter,

 

Amber Cabral  53:56

confess, whatever, like absolutely, all right, yes, okay, well, thank you for joining me.

 

Germanee G  54:01

Thank you again. I think this was great. I

 

54:03

feel like we got some good tips. And

 

Germanee G  54:04

I hope so. I hope so it was, you know, very useful. Okay, yeah, good. These things just come off the dome. It’s good. That’s what we mean. We fall off the dome. People learn something. Yeah, they

 

Amber Cabral  54:18

got a lot. I got a lot. So they got a lot, okay, awesome, yeah, oh, thank

 

Germanee G  54:22

you again. You’re welcome. You.