SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, emotional intelligence, privilege, feel, emotions, work, love, talk, friend, grow, intelligent, person, relationships, point, understanding, intention, brandis, drink, conversation, absolutely

SPEAKERS

Tieko Nejon, Amber Cabral

Amber Cabral 00:00

Three. Privilege is all around you. It shows up in your clothes, where you live, the places you frequent, your network capital, and even how you spend your money. It’s useless until you recognize it. So it’s time to stop feeling guilty and figure out how to use your privilege to make an impact. Welcome to guilty privilege. Welcome back for another episode of guilty privilege. My name is Amber Cabral, and today I’ve had the privilege of talking to Tico nejon Wilson, who is an emotional intelligence practitioner, my personal soul friend, and we have an engaging, inspiring, exciting conversation for you. Today. You are going to learn all kinds of amazing things about the power of emotional intelligence, how it can create equity in your life, and, most importantly, how you can grow with your own power from it. Come on and jump into this conversation. So. Friend, hi, so friend, so happy you are here.

Tieko Nejon 01:05

So am I? Of course,

Amber Cabral 01:07

this is about to be so good. I’m like, bursting at the seams about it. All right, so you do emotional intelligence for a living? Yes, of course, that’s one of those things that people are like, what right? What does that mean? What is emotional intelligence?

Tieko Nejon 01:23

The easy, digestible, bite sized definition that I’ve come up with is that it is you being able to manage, First, recognize and manage what you’re feeling in real time. And then I say there’s an and or two ands, and what you acknowledge or see in the other person in the exchange and choosing the behavior to suit the circumstance. So you need all three. You need to know what you’re feeling in real time, and then you need to really recognize what could this person be experiencing in real time. And then what behavior do I choose to suit the circumstance? Okay, leave either one of those off. You’ve intelligent. You’re not being intelligent. The train is now derailing.

Amber Cabral 02:03

Okay, so how do you know if you are emotionally intelligent? I think most people think that they are when they are talking to people. Of course, I think they think that they are doing all three of the things that you Yes, they are aware of where they are. They are considering what the other person may be feeling, and then they are choosing to respond, or, you know, react to whatever they’re observing, right?

Tieko Nejon 02:25

So how do you know if you really are doing it? Well, you said a keyword reaction, right? And so oftentimes we’re engaging to respond, to react to to give something without receiving something. So I think the easiest way to see if you’re doing it is to pay attention to where is this going. So what if you know the behavior, then you should also know the outcome you want, right? And so if you’re looking for a particular outcome and it’s not happening, start with yourself. Say, wait, am I reading this wrong? Am I giving the wrong energy? Now sometimes it’s not. We’re in a situation where you could always do that right, but you can always pause, right? You can always say, let me stop for a second. Does this feel good to me? Your body’s gonna tell you, yeah. The thing about emotions is that it’s physical, and so your body, your heartbeat, is gonna re beat faster, right? You start sweating, you start tripping over your words, and that’s good or bad emotions. I hate good or bad, but good or bad emotions, right? Love will make you feel the same way that anger can. Sometimes you’re hard to beat fast. You’re like, oh, you know. And so just checking in what what is really happening to me in real time?

Amber Cabral 03:29

What kind of privileges Do you feel like, being emotionally intelligent can grant you? Like, why is it valuable?

Tieko Nejon 03:35

I think it’s valuable because it is the emotions. It’s the one thing that all of us share. And so there’s a connectivity there, right? And so usually success. And when I say success, I’m talking about even in a conversation, yeah, it passes or fails, if you will, based on understanding. And so if the ball is dropped because now we have a misunderstanding, miscommunication, I don’t get what you’re saying. I’m offended. You’re offending me. I’m offending you. I’m intending to piss you off, right? Whatever that breakdown is, it’s usually behind an emotion behind it, and so I believe that if we all accept that, that’s the one common thread. So fear is fear, it is joy. Is joy. What causes you joy. They be different, right, right? But those emotions are and so it’s that connectivity, to me, that would that gives us the space to be really successful in anything. It’s like, that’s the thing that can make it where this the privilege, so to speak, like I have the privilege of making this go, right? Yeah, so it’s a connection thing. It’s a connection thing. It really, it’s it. Because if we really think about the connection part that’s loaded, it is, you know,

Amber Cabral 04:45

it’s very loaded.

Tieko Nejon 04:46

There’s a connection that I need to have with the person who’s fixing my drink and drive through if I want my drink right, absolutely, and if they get it wrong, we would sometimes lean to the disappointment. Now, here’s the thing, here’s, here’s, if I said nothing. Else about an emotional intelligence is this is what I would leave. Emotions aren’t actions. Emotions are signals that something’s happening in me, around me, or to me, that needs an action, right? So anger is not an action. I’m disappointed. I’m pissed that you’ve messed up my drink the behavior I choose, though might get you have you spit in my drink. So I’m not gonna respond that way. So it’s now, what behavior do I choose? And then if I really wanna be on it, I can also say there’s eight cars behind me and there were four in front of me. She probably didn’t mean to mess this drink up. It’s just overwhelmed, right? And so really checking in, and that takes milliseconds like, oh, wait, it’s crowded. They didn’t mean to do that. Hey, my drink is incorrect. Yes, is there a can we expect grace? It’s finding the grace. It’s so emotional intelligence is when you say finding the right reaction. It is literally taking a moment to evaluate and assess the all of the emotions that could potentially be involved, that could be involved, and usually that top emotion is not the one, yeah. So beneath there you have to think now this is long term. So these are for situations where it’s like you want to respond to an email from a team member or from manager or from a client, right? I you know the work I do with corporate, right? And some of them like marketing companies, right? And so they might have a client that sends an email. Take a beat. You don’t have to respond in that moment, and ask yourself, this sounds antsy, wait. Are we up against the clock? Are we already behind? So what’s behind that is really nervousness, like we might not get this done on time, right? And so now, because I can think beneath the emotion that’s exposed, then I have an opportunity to say, okay, I can approach this different, because it’s probably something under there.

Amber Cabral 06:40

Yeah, so you and I met because of a mutual friend, and we tell the story a lot. Yes. Brandis, Daniel, so I what it prompted me to think about as I was thinking about a conversation with you, is like the importance of the role emotional intelligence plays in relationship building. Because you and I, we did not talk long. We knew immediately. And not only did we know, Brandis knew before introducing us, she called you and said, Hey, I have someone you need to meet. Yes, and she pulled me aside at an event and said, Listen, I’m gonna connect you with my friend. You need to know her yes and like to me, I don’t know until I met you and I determined that that is emotionally intelligent. I don’t know what I would have called that. It’s almost like we just had a vibe,

Tieko Nejon 07:29

right, absolutely. Well, one thing to note for the record brands and I have been friends for years. You’re the first person that she so it’s not like she’s like, Oh, Tiko, meet this person, meet this person, there was really something about Yeah, that she felt connected to via that’s a big deal, yeah. But I think what happens in the relationship game is you have to be present and intentional. Those are two of the biggest words I use in my life. Am I present in real time? So can I see what’s happening, the opportunities that are here, and then, can I be intentional? But you mentioned emotional intelligence in relationships. I also think a lot of a lot of relationships are left to die, yeah, because we convolute the emotions like we put too many inside, and we we murk it up.

Amber Cabral 08:16

I can see that. So it gets hard to talk about what the real thing is, because

Tieko Nejon 08:20

emotional intelligence says that I’m present, but I’m also able to connect the presence to what’s happened in the past in a healthy way. Yeah, well, let’s talk about adult relationships, right? Most times we’re not connecting what’s happening now and what happened in the past, correct, in a healthy way. Right? We usually take the worst experience, yep, and Carrie, and hold on to that one. And that’s the one that directs how we interact in a new one. So how did i What was the last exchange with the last grown woman I so thought was gonna be my friend? Yes, and so now that we’ll meet you. Hey, right? You’re standoffish. Everybody gets their fair shot with me. Everyone, there is nothing you’ve done or could do, right that should be tied to what someone else did? Yes, before you had the opportunity, exactly, but most of us are paying the price,

Amber Cabral 09:08

and that’s but that takes a lot of practice, and so and I, and to your point about intentionality and presence, I had a very good friend. We are not good friends anymore, and one of the things I heard most consistently was this, why you shouldn’t do business with friends. And I, if I had internalized that, yes, do you know how many people would not be helping me today? Yes. And so I think to your point, you have to evaluate like, wait that last situation. This is what went wrong. Here’s what I saw. Here’s what I think they saw. Yeah. Here is how the reactions that we both had yes shaped it. Instead of saying, Okay, you were a friend, you broke me. I’m done,

Tieko Nejon 09:53

yeah, and, and I’m gonna, I’m gonna throw this in here. I think we, we are ill, equal. Equipped to determine the levels of intimacy with every relationship. So not one girlfriend is all things. For me, that’s right, every girlfriend provides something different. Now there might be some crossover, right? So I can talk to you about business the same that I talked to Brandis about business, but I may not talk to you about my marriage as much, and that doesn’t mean we’re not the same clothes, or that I wouldn’t test a kidney, right for you if you needed one, right? It just means that that’s not our level of intimacy. I think we try to dump everybody or everything into one person. There is no one person that should be your everything. Yeah, matter of fact, run right if you’re dating. Was scary. If someone says You’re my everything, Whoa, that’s a lot of pressure, you know. And so I just think we put too many pressures on people to show up in so many roles in relationships. So when I met you, I’m open to what, what is this, and what could it be, and where does it go, yeah, and

Amber Cabral 10:56

where does it go, pre existing bucket and all that. And guess what? It

Tieko Nejon 10:59

doesn’t have to be forever. Yeah, I love that. It doesn’t have to be different yourself from friends. You know, when we say that whole it’s for a reason, season or a lifetime, usually the reason is we, we tend to think it was negative, so it was just a reason, and they’re gone. That reason could have just has been a beautiful connection, absolutely for what it was. And it’s like, oh, we grew apart, right? Who knows, you might decide to relocate to a whole nother country. You know what I mean? I mean I’m not letting you, but we do too much putting the period where it is, the forever, where it is, instead of just being present for what it is right now,

Amber Cabral 11:31

I love that. Hey, there. If you’re listening and finding value in today’s episode and want to add a couple tools to your toolbox, I’ve written a couple books that you might find useful. My first book, allies and advocates is to help you be able to show up as an ally or an advocate and to help create a more inclusive and equitable culture, whether that’s in your own life or in the workplace. My second book is a little different. It’s called say more about that. What say more about that does is help you to push back advocate and actually challenge. It gives you tips, tools and language to help you navigate difficult discussions, whether that’s in your personal space or your workspaces. So if either of these tools sound like they might be useful for you, you can scroll down into the show notes and click the link and get your own copy of either allies and advocates or say more about that. Back to today’s episode. So you you cite a statistic on your website that says that emotional intelligence accounts for 58% of success. All right, so what I want to know is, how do you see emotional intelligence accounting for the skills that get to success? Like, how does that work?

Tieko Nejon 12:39

So first this is this, make sure it clarify something so that is actually towards work success, okay? But I personally practice a different way. I believe that all successes, because I think we put too many emphasis on work success. I agree. I think if we’ve tied our identity to accomplishments right, and so I’m only as successful as the last thing I did, right, and dare I say the last thing I didn’t compost about, which, you know, that’s why I don’t post, because I’m like, I dare you last thing you did that you can post about that goes viral, that goes viral, right? And so if I can’t show you who I worked with or whatever, then I’m not that successful, right? And so it’s truly work driven. It’s about 80% for just being well and whole. I love that. And so the thing about that statistic is really understanding that, let’s look at it as IQ. So oftentimes, talent is what gets you in the door, your technical skill, right? What you can do, and, dare I say, for the bottom line of a company, but if you’re a jerk, that can get you out the door, okay, right? I don’t care how well you are. So you could be an intelligent asshole. Yep, you just can, right? And so be intelligent and not be able to manage time, and not be able to manage time or manage people. You know? I mean, people are managing I know. You know what I mean. I deal with leaders all the time who they went up the ranks because of skill set, but they have no skill set when it comes to humans and just how they’re wired and how to connect to people. So that success rate is based on a workplace, but it’s actually higher just to be able to get along with people, even if it’s in the moments of a restaurant exchange. Man,

Amber Cabral 14:12

I love that. So I do wonder, how do you build it? How do I get more emotionally intelligent. And I’m asking this not in the like, the question is real basic, so the same surface, but like, I mean, but it’s not no, because, for real, this sounds like it is going to impact my work life, my relationships, yes, um, you know, whatever interaction I am having, yeah, when I am out in the world, which is also a thing that I think, you know, the work I do ties to because you and I have those moments where we’re like, oh, our work rubs

Tieko Nejon 14:46

up against each other, but like, how do I get it? Well, first you got to understand it. And so I don’t think enough people like I see so many people I know, you know, this is kind of like with the diversity and inclusion feel right now. Everybody read one book, Googled something, read our. Going down there, they’re an expert in it, and I take issue with it. I think you should be able to practice it at any point, but to show up as the expert is a problem. So first understanding and becoming the student of it. And there’s so many composed composites, excuse me, composites of emotional intelligence. One is self awareness. So it’s self perception. What do I feel about myself. Then there’s the way that you express yourself. That’s another one, so expression. Then the other one is how I interact with people, so it’s interpersonal. And then there’s decision making and stress management. Now the decision making and stress management don’t count as much as how do I see myself, because how I see myself is how I’m gonna show up. That’s right, right? And then when I show up, how do I express myself? Because I’m no good if I don’t give you what I’m really thinking, yeah, do you know what I mean? And so I do. If I say, This is what I think about myself, this is how I feel about myself. But then I show up in a room and I shrink every time I go in a room, I turn my light off. It doesn’t matter what I think, that’s right. So you have to make sure you say, Okay, this is what I think of myself. This is how I’m gonna show up and express myself, and this is how I will always interact with another human. My rule is I’m never gonna leave someone broken. Ever, ever, I’m gonna always leave you whole. Yeah, I’m

Amber Cabral 16:10

gonna leave you whole. I also love this, because when I think about inequity, when I think about marginalized communities, when I think about lack of access. This is empowering, like I can work on independently, everything. You just said, everything.

Tieko Nejon 16:29

And in those composites, there’s all these. So those are, like the core composites. But then there’s the sub ones of empathy, understanding, optimism. Those are things you can work on. Am I? Am I negative? Nancy, do I always see the bad things in people? Do I allow people to speak? Do I try to understand? Empathy is a big one, right? And it’s huge. It’s getting so diluted, because now people are like, Well, what about I don’t want to be too nice. Empathy is not about being nice. I always say that empathy is about us gaining an understanding, which means I don’t have to agree with you, right? I just need to understand, that’s right. So I’m not looking for agreement. I’m looking for understanding. If I understand what drives you and your intention, we could disagree all day. That’s right, as long as we have an understanding, I think that’s where respect comes from. So to answer your question, yes, you could build those skills, because it’s their skill sets. And so you can say, these are the things I do, well, these are the things I notice. Is a common thread, or are common with my interactions with people. These are the things I need to hone in and practice. Yeah,

Amber Cabral 17:26

I love that. So on that note, first of all, let me just say your Instagram is a whole mood. I know you feel like you don’t post, and when you post, I am like, oh my gosh, yes, this is it. It feels literally like, Oh my gosh. This is exactly what I was trying to say. Like, you have it. This is every single time I’m like, listen, Soul friend, did it again. Y’all need to do this.

Tieko Nejon 17:47

Okay? Like, you just write like,

Amber Cabral 17:52

so okay, then we might be that for each other, okay, but I promise your posts are they? It’s phenomenal. Thank you. So recently, you posted something, and I had so many thoughts about it, and I felt I don’t want to poison your response with my Okay, but what you said was, I don’t need to grow forever. Can you please? Can you elaborate on that, especially with the mindset of emotional intelligence and needing to connect and know all of those things, can you please elaborate on what you meant by I don’t need to

Tieko Nejon 18:21

grow forever, absolutely. So first off, I will be as clear as I can. I might have said it, I don’t want to grow forever, but the truth is, I refuse to grow forever, right? I refuse to feel like I’m searching for a best self for the rest of my life. Thank you. I refuse to think that there is this thing, because best to me, also means that I have to always show up in a way that’s perfect, because what is best, right? I’d rather find my truest self. And I’m almost there. I said, by 55 I’m done with this growth thing. Hey, I

Amber Cabral 18:50

hope you’re enjoying today’s episode of guilty privilege. My name is Amber Cabral, and I wanted to share with you that I actually do this for a living. So if you’re interested in coaching or training or workshops or even a conversation like this one, you can reach out to me and my team by going to cabraraco.com that website link is in the show notes, and we can work with you to create an experience, to bring conversations that are sometimes difficult to have to your workplace or to your team. Now back to the show.

Tieko Nejon 19:20

I mean, I’m in an industry that you gave it a number 55 is my retirement from growth. Anything else is it ever like? It’s going to be an experience for me, like I want to experience. So imagine, everything has a stop point for growing. Imagine a tree. Let’s use a tree, and I use that in that post, a tree is going to stop growing at a particular high that’s true. However, the trunk of the tree may expand. That’s right, you may never see it. In this lifetime, it expands so slowly that what it looks like the trunk looks like in 20 years, you won’t see it. So at some point, my growth belongs to my kids and their kids, and whoever your legacy is. For me, I. To see them. The other thing is, because I’m a mom, but I would feel this way with friends my husband, I don’t want them to say and she died, still searching for herself. That makes no sense to me. And so someone said to me in that in the post, well, if you’re not growing, I shouldn’t say it that way, because I couldn’t hear a voice. Of course, she typed it, but I just want to imagine she was like, Well, if you’re not growing, you’re declining. I was like, or being or being like, can I just be calm? We just need permission for that. And here’s what I’m saying. So the thing about emotional intelligence, like I said, it’s a self awareness, right? Keep in mind, if I’m aware, I’m not aware of just what I’m good at, correct? I’m aware of what I’m not good at as well. So self awareness says I’m good at some things. I’m not good at these things. I don’t want to be exactly I’m not trying to divorce myself from that. I’m not trying to execute everything. Well, I’ll tell you a minute. I’m so sorry I do this all the time, like I have no problem owning the crappy parts of myself, right? And so at some point, my retirement age for growth is 55 I’m just thinking at 55 I want to have it like, this is it, yeah, I just want to walk in and say, accept me. But I did my best work. I’ll get depth. But this is it for girls. This is it. This is Yeah, I don’t want, I love that. It’s the books. You know what I mean. This is a $60 billion industry of self help and personal development, and I’m in it, and I like being in it. But the last thing I’ll say is, how many ways can you do something right? I know. So if you tell me today, like parents, they got bad right now, because there’s conscious parenting, gentle parenting, but you know, in so many ways, once I find a way that works, why do I need a new one, right? That’s so so how many ways do I need to get it right? Right? And so for me, it’s again, self acceptance. This is who I am. It’s my perception of myself. It must be good enough, because I’m surrounded by some amazing people who love me, right? And so that’s why I’m stopping. So

Amber Cabral 21:52

I loved that so much, because just full transparency, I am tired of growing. I like change. I like change. I like being good. I like I do my best that if I’ve put my hands on it, I’m gonna do the best I can. Yeah, I do like that. But like the idea that, like, I have to have a new iteration all the time. I am just by nature, very capricious, so I’m going to change. But like the idea that I need to, like, have a new brand and be a new it’s too much. It’s too much. It’s too much, too much. And so like releasing that because you’re right, it the world right now, especially the pace of the world, can make you feel like I gotta figure out what I’m gonna do next. What’s my next what’s my next thing? How am I gonna

Tieko Nejon 22:43

we always say we want in this the same person who will tell you, you are enough. That’s right, we’ll be the same person that tells you, hey, here’s a masterclass on how to get better. That’s it. Am I enough? Right? Do I need to get ever better? So do I ever get too bad? My enough point is 55 I’m here for it’s enough. And if it’s not enough for you, I don’t know what to tell you, but hey, I’m here. It’s always I’m too much for some not enough for others. You have to find when you’re just right. I just think. I just think there’s like I said, My children will not be able to describe me as always searching. Think about that tree really quick. It just hit me, at what point do people get to eat your fruit? Right? I feel that full growth. I need to be able to give you my fruit Absolutely. I’m not always out here trying to figure out, yes, and the richness in my tree is this, I

Amber Cabral 23:32

think we don’t realize. And I used to teach mentorship, so, you know, and we’ve talked about this, yes, you know, it’s there’s a point where you’re the mentor, like you can’t always be the one looking for a mentor, like you’re going to be the one being the mentor. You have

Tieko Nejon 23:48

to do. This is your podcast. But can I ask you something really quick, absolutely, okay, absolutely. What do you think of that saying, if you’re the smartest person in your circle, then it’s time to change your

Amber Cabral 23:59

circle. Listen, if I am the smartest person in my circle, that means you should draw from the whale. Think, I mean, like, I don’t

Tieko Nejon 24:07

say situated, you can, I would have ran across this whole studio, because that’s my thing. How come I can’t have several circles? You can just multiple circles. So, like, when you said being the mentor. Want to be the smartest person in some rooms. And sometimes I want people to eat from my fruit like I believe my gifting is this particular wisdom, right? And so I want to be able to give, by the way, when people say, Oh, everybody has a gift, you do know the gift was for you to give away. That is right? And so if my gift is wisdom, it falls into those little funny green squares that’s on Instagram that were by accident. I did one green square. Oh, green square time. But I just think that we have to be willing to let people come to our Well, Drink from

Amber Cabral 24:56

my well. I totally agree with that, and I think it’s liberating. I’m a big. Fan, okay, I want to ask you this too. You being emotionally intelligent, people are going to be drawn to you. How do you manage that? Because, I mean, as you shared, you know, you’re selective. You’re selective about friendships. You’re selective about how those friendships are. How do you manage the magnetism alongside of I get to curate my experience. Oh, yeah,

Tieko Nejon 25:22

it’s that intentionality and presence again, because in any room I’m in, I want everyone to feel special, right? Because I’m drawn to people too. So while I’m a magnet, I’m also drawn to people, and so I like to give people energy, but it might stop at that room, yeah, you know, and I’m very honest about it, I will tell you, Hey, that’s not quite what I was looking for. Because so you’ll end up with people who will start asking personal questions, especially on social media. If you have any kind of presence, people believe they know you right? And so if I’m out and you ask me about my children, right? I barely post my children Exactly. You know very I keep my personal life to me. I don’t owe it to the world. That’s my personal idea, but I I keep my boundaries. I’m really careful with that word boundaries, but I just know what my intentions are for every situation, and it might change in the moment, like if I come into a room, so I came into a room of production, right? My intention is to have a great conversation with you, but who knows you meet somebody like, oh, we have something in common, right? Then that intention might change, right? But that means I have to be present to see what’s gonna happen. So I just guard, I guard my heart. I really do. I guard my heart. And I’m like, Okay, I’m here for this. This could be this, yeah? And I don’t, I don’t look at big picture on most things. Yeah, I don’t. Yeah. Right now in the moment, how is this that big picture stuff that gets you enjoyed that start imagining things. But here’s the picture’s changing as you’re building it. Every connection requires both people absolutely back to the emotional intelligence, right? So it requires both people, well, if I have all these imaginations, the other person, right, right? Your disappointment is bound to happen. And so I’m just intentional and present. And so it’s like and then I also reserve the right to say, No, I’m

Amber Cabral 27:01

a fan of that, and change my mind. I’m always changed my mind. I decided that yesterday. I decided this today, changed my mind. So if

Tieko Nejon 27:09

I decide to show up, then we’re gonna show up. Hold. If I can’t show up, oh, I’m not. I’m gonna Yeah, and I’m gonna let you know that. I’ll let you know I won’t be there absolutely. That’s that.

Amber Cabral 27:16

I love that. Okay, last question, yes, I hate that. We’re rapping, but too fast, but my final question, so the podcast is called guilty privilege, yes, and the intention behind the name is that privilege is something that often people haven’t feel guilty about, or they’re not aware that they have privilege. There’s all these emotions around it, when ultimately what privilege does is it gives you the opportunity to impact someone else. Yes, to your point wisdom to share. Okay, and so what I would love to know from you is, what privilege Do you have that you refuse to feel guilty about

Tieko Nejon 27:50

time? Yes, I’ve worked really hard to reserve my time. I’ve never been the one if the lights aren’t on, you’re not working. But I participate in and hustle a tiny bit. Yeah? I now reserve my time. Yeah? I If there’s anything I brag about, is the amount of hours I work, you already know we talk about all the time. I get there three days a week, yes, nine to 230 Yes, and that’s it, but I’ve worked really hard now putting you on full blast. Part of that was not being afraid to charge a particular number when I went into this space. Can you believe it’s been five years when I went into this space and when I knew I only wanted to work with corporate and training and talking to you and us being really transparent with numbers, it was like, you know your worth, you know the impact. I know how long my worth stays, yeah, you know. And so I don’t have a shelf life, right? Some of the things I teach, I know. And so learning to charge that, yep, time is the thing I don’t apologize for. I can get on a plane and then second right behind time would be my support system. I do have a husband who works a very powerful job, except he’s home with the kids. Yeah, he’s working from home today because my son has an award ceremony, but they’re gonna give the same awards at his graduation. And because it’s you, I was like, Okay, now there’s probably only three of you that. Yeah, we talked about

Amber Cabral 29:22

the circles, we talked about it and

Tieko Nejon 29:23

so but yeah, time is the privilege I have, and I worked so hard to be able to just breathe and play with my woods and my saws, you know? I think I’m better the builder, right? And so I worked really hard for time. And so that’s the privilege I have, and I will preserve it and protect it. Thank you so much for but I want to know yours.

Amber Cabral 29:46

Oh, listen, what’s your privilege? So glad you asked. Do you know that no one else has asked me, You’re kidding me. I want to know what your privilege is. The privilege that I have, that I refuse to feel guilty about, is that I’m charming. I. Yeah, I’m charming, I’m charismatic. Yeah, it’s very easy for me to kind of get into a space and navigate a relationship. And that’s the thing I felt like, was sneaky or manipulative, maybe because

Tieko Nejon 30:11

someone made you do that, someone, yep, that, Oh, she’s just gonna get over. Oh, yeah, she

Amber Cabral 30:16

gets over. Oh, it’s because she’s pretty, or whatever, all the things. And I’m like, no, no, but that’s the thing I don’t feel guilty about.

Tieko Nejon 30:23

Yeah, you’re an exhorter. You really build people up. I try my best to it looks like charm and charm is good, but you are safe.

Amber Cabral 30:33

I am safe. Safe. I am safe. I’m not abusing you. So yeah, absolutely, there you go. Thank you so much. Thank

Tieko Nejon 30:39

you for letting me ask you that question. You’re welcome.

Amber Cabral 30:43

Thanks, Alfred, you.